1 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:12,333 - Yo, what's your rush, Jamal? 2 00:00:12,333 --> 00:00:14,267 Compton Leroy's ain't going nowhere. 3 00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,800 - Look, every time we get there late, 4 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,533 they out of the barbecue fatback. 5 00:00:19,533 --> 00:00:22,067 It's not gonna happen to me a third time. 6 00:00:22,067 --> 00:00:24,400 - You got enough fat on your back for a lifetime. 7 00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:28,367 - Hoochie hoedown! 8 00:00:28,367 --> 00:00:29,933 - Sharkeisha, don't kick her! 9 00:00:29,933 --> 00:00:31,633 - Aye, I'm snappin' the first titty that pop out. 10 00:00:31,633 --> 00:00:33,567 Worldstar! 11 00:00:37,933 --> 00:00:41,500 - Okay, I got a full bird with a friends and family plan. 12 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,233 Anything else, you sorry Coolio-looking motherfucker? 13 00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,800 - I am Coolio, big bitch. 14 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,367 - How may I help you, pimpled-ass short dick? 15 00:00:49,367 --> 00:00:51,433 They make me say stuff like that, Jamal. 16 00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:53,167 You know I love your short dick. 17 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,500 - Hmm, I'll have the number one, 18 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:59,067 number two, number three, and a biscuit. 19 00:00:59,067 --> 00:01:02,067 Ooh, and some corn bread, with extra fat back, 20 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:04,400 fat front, and a side of fat side. 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,200 - Aye, since when did Chamberlain Heights 22 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,300 get a Metro Rail? 23 00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:11,600 - Yeah, I thought the only trains 24 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,533 being run around here were on Amtrak Amy. 25 00:01:16,633 --> 00:01:18,167 - Isn't this place great? 26 00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:19,800 Life just feels more precious here. 27 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,067 This is how Lucious Lyon grew up on "Empire." 28 00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,467 - I feel so vulnerable. 29 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:29,067 Like a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti. 30 00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:31,233 This is amazeballs. 31 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,467 - What the hell's going on around here? 32 00:01:36,467 --> 00:01:38,633 - A juicery? Man, nobody in Chamberlain Heights 33 00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:40,733 gonna go somewhere that only serve fruit skeet. 34 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,667 - Look at that fatback. 35 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:46,300 I swear everybody here must have diabetes. 36 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:49,533 - This hipster nigga. 37 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:57,967 - Aye, Grover, your neighborhood 38 00:01:57,967 --> 00:02:00,200 about to turn into a Cracker Barrel--look. 39 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,267 - Ooh, Bohemian Beckys. 40 00:02:05,267 --> 00:02:07,367 - That's strange. They don't look like Section 8. 41 00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:09,300 - They're not--I know none of you ignorant negroes 42 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,233 and Milk asked, but what you're witnessing, gentlemen, 43 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,400 is what they call "neighborhood revitalization." 44 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,200 That's only because they're afraid to use... 45 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,733 The G word. - Gonads? 46 00:02:19,733 --> 00:02:21,400 - Gonorrhea? - Django? 47 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,067 - Dude, no, I'm talking about gentrification. 48 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:26,300 - My dad says gentrification is a good thing. 49 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,567 He's sick of all the black people 50 00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:29,700 running around everywhere. 51 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:32,400 I mean, not--not you, Grover. You one of the good ones. 52 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,267 - That's because like so many other brothers and sisters, 53 00:02:34,267 --> 00:02:35,567 your pops is a sell out. 54 00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:36,800 - 'Tis true. 'Tis true. 55 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,367 - In addition to appropriating our culture, 56 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:41,167 white people are "discovering" our neighborhoods, as well. 57 00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:42,767 - It's not so bad. Look. 58 00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:45,100 They even upgraded the shoes on the telephone wire. 59 00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:47,233 - Hi, I'm your new neighbor, Kristen. 60 00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,067 I just wanted to introduce myself 61 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:51,167 and bring you a nice fruit basket. 62 00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:53,700 They were out of apples, so I put in a couple of Apple iPads. 63 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,333 Nothing special. Only 64 gigs each. 64 00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:57,667 Okay, bye! 65 00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:59,467 - See, Malik? You was worried about nothing. 66 00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:02,100 - Yeah, and the Indians loved blankets in the beginning too. 67 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,367 This won't end well. 68 00:03:04,533 --> 00:03:06,367 - Huh? What'd you say? 69 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,800 - I don't get it. "Art is anal cheese"? 70 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,967 - Damn, these hipsters is deep. 71 00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:18,067 - Yeah, amazeballs deep. 72 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,467 Check out the beezys putting it on display for no charge. 73 00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:24,600 - Yo, I ain't seen this many camel toes 74 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,833 since Amber Rose's slut walk. 75 00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:28,133 - Y'all can have them Beckys. 76 00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:29,733 What I need with a pale hoochie that's gonna 77 00:03:29,733 --> 00:03:32,500 love me, let me drive her dad's car, and give me money? 78 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:33,933 That's what Mom's for. 79 00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:42,067 Yo, why the hell they switching fake astronauts? 80 00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:44,867 - I don't know, but I ain't mad at Matt Damon, though. 81 00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:47,533 He was great in "Fast and the Furious." 82 00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,067 Rest in peace. 83 00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:52,933 - All right, settle down. 84 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,967 I'm handing back last week's homework assignment. 85 00:03:55,967 --> 00:03:58,300 As you can see, there's been some changes 86 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,567 here at the Matt Damon Charter School. 87 00:04:00,567 --> 00:04:04,067 In accordance with the new "unschooling" initiative, 88 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:06,233 you will no longer receive grades. 89 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:11,133 In fact, all homework is now optional. 90 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,600 All right. Keep it in your pants. 91 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,267 And I mean it literally, Milk. 92 00:04:18,267 --> 00:04:22,567 Now let's move on to the human sexuality portion of class. 93 00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:25,067 Per our new "immersive" curriculum, 94 00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:29,733 please welcome our sexperts, Rick and Celeste. 95 00:04:29,733 --> 00:04:31,533 For those of you in the front row, 96 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:35,467 under your seats you'll find splash guards and goggles. 97 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,467 - So should we start with foreplay, 98 00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:39,900 or just go straight to anal? 99 00:04:41,233 --> 00:04:43,367 - Damn, he got a sweaty booty. 100 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:51,933 Damn, look at all this new talent walking around. 101 00:04:53,933 --> 00:04:55,767 - It ain't polite to point, my nig. 102 00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:57,800 - What you talking about? - Yeah, homey, 103 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,267 you best holster that six. 104 00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:01,367 - Damn, I didn't know I had a progressive penis. 105 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,800 This the kind of dick Martin Luther King dreamed about. 106 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,433 - He wasn't dreaming about dicks. 107 00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:06,933 That nig had bitches. 108 00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,933 - Y'all chopping it up like some babbling beezys 109 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,400 and we late for practice. 110 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,267 - Ah! Shit! Water! 111 00:05:12,267 --> 00:05:14,567 - What the fuck are you motherfuckers doing in the pool? 112 00:05:14,567 --> 00:05:16,333 Get the hell out of my God damn water! 113 00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:17,733 - When the hell we get a pool, Coach? 114 00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,267 You know our people can't swim. 115 00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:21,100 - We always had a pool, motherfucker. 116 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,333 Part of Reagan's Inner City Sink or Swim Initiative. 117 00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:26,067 We just ain't used it since the class of '88 drowned. 118 00:05:28,733 --> 00:05:30,367 - So where we supposed to hoop at? 119 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:32,267 - Basketball's been cancelled, motherfucker. 120 00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:33,933 It's all about water polo here 121 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,633 at the Matt Damon Charter School. 122 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:37,233 Now get the hell out of my water! 123 00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:39,933 - I don't know. I kind of like it in here. 124 00:05:39,933 --> 00:05:42,067 - Brody's like a beach ball. 125 00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,467 - Will you stop playing with them white boys? 126 00:05:45,467 --> 00:05:47,100 Hold up. Where's Grove? 127 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,267 - Grover! Is you dead? 128 00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:54,600 - If he is, I get his chain and his headband. 129 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,667 - Mmm, tastes like brown sugar. 130 00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:00,533 - Damn, homey, is you okay? 131 00:06:00,533 --> 00:06:02,233 - You lucky LaDante was here. 132 00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,700 If it weren't for his "Baywatch" training, you'd be a goner. 133 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,067 - He's still looking a little off. 134 00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:07,967 I'm going back in. Ah! 135 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,533 - No, I'm good. I'm good. 136 00:06:09,533 --> 00:06:11,100 - Oh, LaDante made sure of that. 137 00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:14,067 He checked to make sure that all your air holes were clear. 138 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,667 - Who told you clowndicks to get off the bench? 139 00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:22,067 Randy, you lucky you on the motherfucking team! 140 00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:24,433 Now go make yourself useful and scrub the oil slicks 141 00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:26,633 out of my motherfucking Speedos. 142 00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:35,267 - Hey, 'Trel. - One, two... 143 00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:37,967 Yo, Bro-Bro, why you looking all sad and Drakey? 144 00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:39,600 - They cancelled basketball. - Four...seven...nine... 145 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,167 - It's all about water polo now. - 10...13... 146 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:43,633 - Everything's changing. I'm just not sure where I-- 147 00:06:43,633 --> 00:06:45,767 - Damn, nigga, I was trying to concentrate. 148 00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:47,467 You made me forget which way I was going. 149 00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:48,733 - But you asked me a question. 150 00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:50,367 - I'm like a Trump voter, nigga. 151 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,300 I don't care what you say. 152 00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:56,867 - Yo, 'Trel, why is there a white boy in my room? 153 00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,933 - Because Skyler is a paying customer. 154 00:06:58,933 --> 00:07:01,300 And the customer is always white. 155 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,600 Nigga. 156 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,400 - It's nice to meet you. 157 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,767 - What the fuck, Montrel? 158 00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:09,267 You rented out my room? Where am I supposed to sleep? 159 00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:12,633 - The couch, fool, and that's gonna run you about 20 a night. 160 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,200 - How you gonna charge your own brother? 161 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,700 - Aye, you're good with numbers, right? 162 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,600 What's one plus one minus two? 163 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,333 - I don't know, zero? 164 00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:22,467 - Yeah, nigga, that's how many fucks I give. 165 00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:24,467 - Say, man, how long are we gonna have-- 166 00:07:24,467 --> 00:07:26,533 - Shh, our hearts are harmonizing. 167 00:07:33,933 --> 00:07:35,933 - Montrel rented out your room? 168 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,800 Ooh, it's a cold game, my nig. 169 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,700 - Yeah, who would pay to live in that shit hole? 170 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:42,933 No offense. - It's not a shit hole anymore. 171 00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:45,133 Ever since gentrification, it's now "quaint," 172 00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:47,067 and "you must see to appreciate." 173 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,767 - Speaking of shit holes, 174 00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,233 check out the one on that Becky right there. 175 00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:56,767 Damn, I'ma call you Blacktrick Swayze, 176 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,867 'cause she breezed by you like you was a ghost. 177 00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:01,433 - Those water polo marks be stealing all our shine. 178 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:04,667 - Not all of it. Shit, I get Beckys. 179 00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:08,567 Hey, Cindy. - Oh, hey. 180 00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,133 - It's Grover. - Don't be silly. 181 00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:12,500 I know your name. Greg, this is Kirk. 182 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,767 Kirk is the captain of the water polo team. 183 00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:17,500 - Glad you're still breathing, brody bro. 184 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,967 Grover was the one who almost 185 00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:21,167 crashed and burned the other day. 186 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,333 - Ugh, Garfield, why would you do that? 187 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:25,867 - Uh, I was expecting there to be a basketball court. 188 00:08:25,867 --> 00:08:28,233 - Huh, this school has a basketball team? 189 00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:29,267 Ghetto. 190 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,900 - Sketch. 191 00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:34,067 - I didn't realize people still played that. 192 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,833 Come on, bro, who throws a ball into a net? 193 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,400 - They don't anymore. Now Grover and his shit crew 194 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,067 just play with each other--ha. 195 00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:43,267 - "Shit crew." Hilarious. 196 00:08:43,267 --> 00:08:45,867 - Thanks, Kirkmeister. I came up with it myself. 197 00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:46,800 Ha. 198 00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:51,900 - All right, I'm gonna go shave my stems. 199 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,900 - Nah, man, bro shave his legs? 200 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:57,067 - Polo players shave everything. 201 00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:58,767 - Seem a little fruitilicious. 202 00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:00,800 - No, it's super sexy. 203 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,067 Polo players have the best bodies. 204 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,567 Feel how smooth this is, Grover. 205 00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:06,967 - I'll pass. - It's okay, bro. 206 00:09:06,967 --> 00:09:09,167 I know you want to. Everybody does. 207 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:10,967 - Uh, still no. - I'll do it! 208 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,067 - Ow! Jesus, Eduardo Scissor Hands. 209 00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,467 Uh, you ever heard of a nail clipper? 210 00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:19,400 all: Whoa! 211 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,600 - Bro! 212 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,333 all: Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro... 213 00:09:25,333 --> 00:09:27,267 - So what is we supposed to do without basketball? 214 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,067 You heard Randy-- what happens to the guys 215 00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:30,300 who don't play anything? 216 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,500 - These is some deep questions, my dudes. 217 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,267 Like, philosophilly deep. 218 00:09:34,267 --> 00:09:36,600 Anyway, I wish I could help, but I got practice. 219 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,567 - Where you been? There ain't no practice. 220 00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:40,567 - That's what you think. Ah! 221 00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,400 - Yo, why you got on them nut huggers? 222 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,833 - I'm a polo player now. You saw it. 223 00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:46,533 I'm buoyant like a motherfucker. 224 00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:48,367 Later, landmarks. 225 00:09:48,367 --> 00:09:50,800 - At least we still got Compton Leroy's. 226 00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:58,300 - Aye, what happened to all the black people on the wall? 227 00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,633 - Namaste, fellas. - Nama-what? 228 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:03,233 - Namaste--it means "I bow to your form." 229 00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:04,700 Care for some kelp kombu jerkey? 230 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,100 - I ain't jerkin' shit, homey. 231 00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,133 - Janky? - Hey, guys. 232 00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:15,733 - Junior, what'd I tell you about watching where you going? 233 00:10:15,733 --> 00:10:18,200 - "Always keep your good eye on the ground." 234 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,667 - Is you moving? - We sold our house. 235 00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:22,133 Prices is through the roof. 236 00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,167 Pops is taking the money and running. 237 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,800 - Where are you going? - Don't know. 238 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,933 Can't afford nothing. - Then why y'all moving? 239 00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:30,900 - J.J., stop messing around with that slow friend of yours. 240 00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:33,933 Uppity bastard, think he special 'cause he can roll his eyes. 241 00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,267 - Coming, Pops. Say good-bye to the crew for me. 242 00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:38,467 I bet they'll miss me as much as I'll miss them. 243 00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:40,467 - Probably not. - You probably right. 244 00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:44,033 all: Matt Damon Charter is our name. 245 00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:45,700 We've got looks, wealth, and fame. 246 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,967 Don't be jealous, it's okay-- - It's okay-- 247 00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:49,733 all: Maybe we'll give you-- - Give you a job someday! 248 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,833 all: All lives matter. Go Martians! 249 00:10:51,833 --> 00:10:53,333 - Whoo! 250 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,633 - Yo, I can't even tell which team of white boys is ours. 251 00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:57,033 - Jamal is really good, though. 252 00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:59,633 A lot better than he is at basketball. 253 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,067 - I'm open, bro! 254 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,833 Oh, fuck yeah, bro! 255 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:10,400 all: Bro! - Dude! Ha! 256 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,133 Great shot, Kirk. You the man. 257 00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:13,400 - Thanks, shit crew. 258 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,733 - Oh, my God, you are so funny. 259 00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:21,267 You know, my parents are gonna be out on Friday night. 260 00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:24,500 Want to come over to watch some Netflix? 261 00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,067 - And...chill? 262 00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:27,933 - No, fuck. - Yes. 263 00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:29,700 - Great, let's hook up after the party. 264 00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:31,067 See you then, Jason. 265 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:32,433 - Yo, who the fuck is Jason? 266 00:11:32,433 --> 00:11:34,633 - Oh, yeah, they gentrified my name, 267 00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:36,400 but it's cool, though, brody bro. 268 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,067 - You gonna let them Toby you, my nig? 269 00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,100 - She can call me anything she wants 270 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,167 as long as I get to nibble on them ham-colored nipples. 271 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:46,233 all: Bro, bro, bro, bro... 272 00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:47,800 - What's up with that party tonight? 273 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,433 - Well, uh... 274 00:11:49,433 --> 00:11:52,733 - Yo, BroJay Simpson, you coming with? 275 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,533 - Coming! 276 00:11:56,533 --> 00:12:02,533 - Hermosa! 277 00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:06,133 - Man, that's it. They took basketball, 278 00:12:06,133 --> 00:12:07,567 they took Compton Leroy's, 279 00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:08,800 and now they taking Jamal? 280 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,800 This is war. - Cool. 281 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,200 I'll get the trench coat. 282 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,267 - Whoa, no, Milk. 283 00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:13,533 I forgot how literal you can be. 284 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,167 - I'm sorry, Grove, all this gentrification 285 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,267 making me act like one of them white boys. 286 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:21,333 - Damn, this water polo party turnt. 287 00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:22,500 - Keep your eyes open. 288 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,067 There's a lot of crackers up in there. 289 00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:27,167 First one that say "nig" gon' get--aah! 290 00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:29,067 - Yo, Brock, where you going? 291 00:12:29,067 --> 00:12:31,633 - Not to jail, that's for sure. 292 00:12:31,633 --> 00:12:33,400 - Oh, what's up, Kirk? Can we come in? 293 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,067 - Who do you know? - We know Jamal's fat ass. 294 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:37,800 - Who? - Jamal, the goalie. 295 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,067 - Our brolie's name is Jason. 296 00:12:40,067 --> 00:12:43,133 Nice try, Gromit. No entre. 297 00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:46,400 - Let met tell you a little something 298 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,867 about water polo, Amanda, 'cause it's the most 299 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:51,233 mentally and psychically challenging sport on Earth. 300 00:12:51,233 --> 00:12:53,900 So if you can play polo, you can do anything. 301 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,633 - Except remain loyal to your boys. 302 00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:57,200 - Or say no to seconds. 303 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,800 - Hey, Jason, now that you're, like, part of the crew, 304 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,733 I got something I need you to help me with. 305 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:09,633 Yo, everyone, I just wanted to say a couple of words. 306 00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:12,733 Water polo is a team sport, and all of us 307 00:13:12,733 --> 00:13:14,533 who actually get in the pool, 308 00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:17,367 well, we couldn't do it without our bench warmers. 309 00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:19,667 - Fuck yeah, bro. Bench warmers. Ha! 310 00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:23,567 - So, Randy, to show you how much we appreciate you bros, 311 00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:26,167 we chipped in and got you a little something. 312 00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:28,900 We call this the golden waterfall. 313 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,333 - It just looks like an empty cup. 314 00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:32,967 - You heard the brody! Fill 'er up! 315 00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:35,433 - What the fuck? Aw, shit. 316 00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:37,667 - No, bro. It's just piss. 317 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,133 - I'm sorry, Randy, but if it's gonna be one of us, 318 00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:43,600 it might as well be you, man. 319 00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:48,867 - Hey, man, what the hell you doing? 320 00:13:48,867 --> 00:13:50,867 - Just having a little fun with Randy. 321 00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:52,600 - By pissing on him? That's weird. 322 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,067 I get golden showers-- I mean, 323 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,900 R. Kelly the GOAT, but a dude? 324 00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,867 - Y'all just jealous I'm league now, 325 00:13:57,867 --> 00:13:59,700 and you're still the shit crew for life. 326 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,300 Y'all should get shirts made. 327 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,067 both: League? - You not league. 328 00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:05,333 - Yeah, you just fat. 329 00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:07,100 You even slap like a white boy. 330 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:09,767 Come on, Grove, so you can slap me like a real nig. 331 00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,067 Aah! 332 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,567 - Malik, we've been looking all over for you. 333 00:14:30,567 --> 00:14:32,067 What you doing all the way out here? 334 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,367 - Because all my customers live in Chamberlain Heights. 335 00:14:34,367 --> 00:14:36,800 - That don't make no sense. - The gringos, they like drugs. 336 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,867 They just don't want to buy them in their own backyard. 337 00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:40,667 Nobody likes to shit where they eat and stuff. 338 00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:42,467 - But they will tongue kiss a Labrador 339 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,300 that just licked its own ass. 340 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,433 It like "New Girl." It make no sense. 341 00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:47,733 - We need you to help us figure out 342 00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:49,533 how to turn back the gentrification. 343 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,400 Otherwise, we'll lose everything: 344 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,667 basketball, the city, Jamal. 345 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,667 - Hey, Grover. Look, we moved. 346 00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:57,833 - Okay, there is one tactic that worked in the past, 347 00:14:57,833 --> 00:15:00,500 but it's only to be used in the most dire of circumstances. 348 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,067 - Malik, we desperate. What is it? 349 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,433 - Welcome to Ruck Us Riot Supply. 350 00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:10,200 Just to let you know, we are running 351 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,633 a two-for-one sale on gas masks. 352 00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:14,067 - Where do you keep your bricks? 353 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:15,633 - You in luck, Papi. 354 00:15:15,633 --> 00:15:18,400 We just got in some new Chiapas Adobe. 355 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,933 You know, it is the Sinaloan Cartel 356 00:15:20,933 --> 00:15:22,833 safe house brick of choice. 357 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,833 - So you said something about 358 00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:31,300 Hulu, Netflix, Crackle... 359 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,633 - No, I said "Netflix and fuck." 360 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,933 - That's what I thought you said. 361 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,533 - Find something romantic while I look for... 362 00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:38,933 Oh. 363 00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:40,933 Ooh, I finally find your junk, 364 00:15:40,933 --> 00:15:43,500 and it's all shriveled up like a raisin in the sun? 365 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,667 - Don't worry, it's a Grover, not a shower. 366 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,333 I mean, grower! Grower! 367 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:50,167 Look, it's fine. Just milk it. 368 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:56,833 - What's that? - Nothing. Uh, hurry up. 369 00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:59,900 - I smell your dick, Jamal! 370 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,867 - Oh, shit! - Where are you going? 371 00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:04,700 I was just getting started. 372 00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,467 - Jamal! 373 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:08,433 Where you at, motherfucker? 374 00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:11,133 - You can't just-- - Oh, bitch, shut up. 375 00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:13,100 Roar! 376 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,167 - Afternoon, all. 377 00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:31,100 Would you mind mellowing your tunes? 378 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,100 All of the reclaimed driftwood inside 379 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,967 really amplifies the sound. 380 00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:37,733 We just want everyone to have a pleasant dining experience. 381 00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:39,567 Now, who wants a free sample of vegan-- 382 00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,100 - We ain't turning down shit. 383 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,300 This our city. 384 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:43,867 all: Yeah! 385 00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:47,500 - This is an unlawful gathering. 386 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,400 I'm ordering you to turn down the music and disperse, 387 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,567 or we'll be forced to-- 388 00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:52,067 - Aye, we ain't turning down shit. 389 00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:53,233 You can't silence us. 390 00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:54,267 - I can do whatever I want. 391 00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:55,733 Now I said turn it down. 392 00:16:55,733 --> 00:16:58,800 - Oh, yeah? Make us. 393 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,567 - Oh, sweet Jesus! 394 00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:05,100 - Get your gentrified dick back here. 395 00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:07,933 - I said get back. 396 00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:10,800 And for the love of Christ, turn that oogidy boogidy music off. 397 00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,633 Oops. - Oh, shit, not again. 398 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:21,467 - Oh, God, they killed Mr. Proper's...radio. 399 00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:24,167 - Well, guess the riot's over. I watch BET. 400 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:25,833 You people don't do anything without music. 401 00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:27,300 - Like hell we don't! 402 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,933 Let's take back our community by destroying it. 403 00:17:29,933 --> 00:17:31,833 - What should we do? 404 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,267 - We got this, so throw it. 405 00:17:33,267 --> 00:17:34,633 - No, you throw it. 406 00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:37,100 - I ain't gonna lie. It's weird without music. 407 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,300 - Gimme that! 408 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,600 - And what you think you gonna 409 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,067 do with that, motherfucker? 410 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:45,567 I've seen this before. 411 00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,833 Everybody get down! 412 00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:57,700 - I'm Don Lemon. 413 00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,067 We're here on the ground in Chamberlain Heights, 414 00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:03,100 where events are quickly spiraling out of control. 415 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,900 Obviously, once again, 416 00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,367 there's a smell of marijuana in the air. 417 00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:09,333 - Man, so I'm smoking a little dojha. 418 00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,667 Mind your business, nigga. I've had a rough day. 419 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:13,300 - Some people would say that rioting 420 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,900 only hurts communities that are already suffering. 421 00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,467 Might it not be more effective 422 00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:19,867 to express your discontent through the ballot box? 423 00:18:19,867 --> 00:18:22,200 - Man, everybody knows that don't make no difference. 424 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,367 In the hood, only one box matters. 425 00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:26,133 - Um, what's that, brother? 426 00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:27,900 - Hot box, nigga! 427 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:31,067 That tastes like the chronic. 428 00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:34,700 - Yeah, Donny Don, now that's what I call a Lemon Party. 429 00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,600 - Do I hear a slow jam? 430 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,567 - Who play this type of music at a riot? 431 00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:51,600 - Play "Neighborhood Number Three." 432 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,167 - Eat shit. Play "Suburbs." 433 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,700 - Damn, white folks done gentrified the riot. 434 00:18:57,700 --> 00:19:01,067 - It reminds me of Burning Man, but before it got all corporate. 435 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:03,200 - It look like we too late, my nigs. 436 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,967 I really don't like 437 00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:08,433 what's happening to our neighborhood. 438 00:19:08,433 --> 00:19:10,067 - Ugh, I'm over this place. 439 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,667 - Yeah, our work here is done. 440 00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:14,367 Hey, there's a new neighborhood 441 00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:17,133 popping up, and it's real shitty. 442 00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:18,567 - Sounds great. Let's go. 443 00:19:23,833 --> 00:19:25,500 all: Yeah! - Whoo, whoo, whoo! 444 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,600 - Yeah, baby. - Yeah! 445 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,367 Ah! - Gimme that short dick. 446 00:19:36,733 --> 00:19:38,667 - Aye, I'm cutting you off, Don Lemon. 447 00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:40,067 - Come on, 'Trelly 'Trel. 448 00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:42,333 Why you got to play me like that, my nigger? 449 00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:45,433 - Aye, man, what'd I tell you about trying to sound black? 450 00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:48,067 - That I'd never be as convincing as Wayne Brady. 451 00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:50,067 Anyhoo, we're still going out later so you can show me 452 00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:52,100 how to mack on that badonka-donk, right? 453 00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,167 - Man, hold on. Mack? 454 00:19:54,167 --> 00:19:55,433 - What are you doing? 455 00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:58,533 - Just making sure that tan don't wipe off. 456 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,500 all: Yo, East Chaim, what's the word? 457 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,600 Duncan is fresh, and you smell like a turd. 458 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,733 Go Black Holes! Take it to the rim. 459 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,900 East Chaim are chumps, and we're going to win. 460 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:12,300 Go black holes! Yeah! 461 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,033 - It's nice being back with y'all, but I ain't gonna lie, 462 00:20:15,033 --> 00:20:17,233 I didn't hate being the man. 463 00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,833 What? It helps my pants slide on easier. 464 00:20:19,833 --> 00:20:22,300 - I'm just glad all them Mileys and Beliebers gone. 465 00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:23,667 - We got basketball back. 466 00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:25,500 Now we can go back to being legends. 467 00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:28,500 - You ain't never lied, Brover. 468 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:31,233 Last one, I promise. 469 00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:32,233 - Yeah, Randy. - Buckets! 470 00:20:32,233 --> 00:20:33,233 - Up high, fellas. 471 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,233 all: Ah! 472 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,233 - Crap slap. 473 00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:36,233 Welcome back, shit crew. 474 00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,300 Aah! 475 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,633 - Mmm, mmm, mmm. 476 00:20:39,633 --> 00:20:42,300 Don't worry, Coach. I got him. 477 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:46,300 Ah... - No!